True Story by Jason Goldwatch

‘I’ve eaten better molly than most rappers will ever dream about.’

How did radio let these screaming idiots ruin both our music and our drug cultures with these retarded mantras. I was at an opening recently, talking about how Andy Warhol was funded by the CIA as part of a “culture war” during the cold war era. Like, the Dark Departments within the Pentagon funded the buying of modern art to set a monetary and thus cultural flag pole.

And it dawned on me, these fuck rappers are terrorists. These screaming fuck boys were hired by the government to infiltrate our culture and ruin it from the inside out. Rap had become too powerful, and too relevant in current American culture. Holy shit the world NEEDS Jay Elelctronica right now….

Anyways. I saw Jay Electronica at SXSW and it made the whole trip. Having tweeted “Drunk by Drunk West” the night before, I was going through the natural emotional rollar coaster of SX, when there he was. A beacon of light in the mercy jungles of florescent wrist band hand cuffs, and VIP nooses around their necks. The zombies stumbling from one long line to the next like a pack of undead sheep. The shepard was back, a gleaming smile, a twinkle in his eye, and always with some curious shit to say… My dudebro Jay ELECTBOMBONYA JAY ELECTSTRONGARMYA, JAYELECTFARMKARMA, MY MAN. We hugged liked a war had passed.

So. Anyways, I saw Jay Electronica at SXSW and it made my trip. And all the fuck boys and fuck girls who have any pathetic small-minded hater shit to say, should just eat a short dick off a long cliff, and relax into their mediocre lives. While Jay and his family change the way the conscious animals think about their experience that is being a spirit on a round spinning rock, dead center in the middle of forever.

True Story.

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